Fair-Weathered Fan

I am surprising myself by actually watching football with hubs. It is, after all, the World Cup. It happens only once in four years. The last time the World Cup was on, my Netherland Dwarf rabbit, Bobo passed away. Hubs didn’t even notice.

Saturday, May 12, 2010. England vs. USA.

The choice is obvious. Hub’s man, Steven Gerrard aka Stevie G aka Gerrard of Liverpool is the captain of the English team. I can’t help by showing my alliance.

The 5-minute goal right off the bat by Stevie G should have sealed the deal. (If not for an idiot before half time) Gerrard is his own one man team, playing offense, defense and tackling all by himself. It doesn’t matter that he was not the first choice for Captain of the England team. But he is sure living up to the title awarded to him. John Terry was the first choice, but after a scandal on his private life, Rio Ferdinand was elected as Captain, while Gerrard took the helm as vice-captain. When Ferdinand got injured Gerrard was immediately promoted.

Steven Gerrard (May 1980) is the captain for Liverpool playing midfield. After the entrance of Fernando Torres in 2007, Gerrard has become the second striker for the English Premier League.

Donovan of USA almost scores for USA at the 20th minute. This could be dangerous for England. Then England answers with #7 Lennon almost making the goal, but he is way off. (Cock-eyed maybe) According to hubs, the ball should have been given to Rooney. He would have made the shot. Stew-pid. On a side note, #10 Wayne Rooney (ManU) is only 24 years old, but he’s balding. Rogaine maybe?

#16 Milner gets a yellow for tackling #6 Cherundolo. Free kick is taken by #10 Donovan but it’s off. Goalie Tim Howard (Averton) gets kicked by #21 Heskey after #4 Gerrard’s corner kick for the goal. During the replay showing Howard’s fall, there is some serious pulling of shirts by the USA players against the English players. That should be a foul with all the pulling of #8 Lampard’s shirt during the scuffle.

I spot Beckham. He is there for support …and to teach them his infamous banana kick? The man is getting too old for the game, but still mighty cute.

Ironically, a yellow is later given to USA’s #6 Cherundolo.

Green lets in a goal.  How could he! I saw it just stroll in. Someone take Green out already. Why did the Capello the manager choose a rookie for the World Cup?! That was an easy goal by Dempsey.

1-1.

How can you go into a game like this not knowing who the best keeper is?! Even Beckham was disgusted. Capello should just hang his head in shame. During half time, David James, aka Calamity James (not a good name considering the situation) is seen practicing on the field. Time to replace the butterfingers?

I wonder what happened in the English locker room during half time? “You see, what happened was, …” Crash, Boom, Bang.

#15 Demerit gets a yellow right after half time with a hand ball.

#10 Rooney is the only one near the goal post, and almost makes the goal, but the ref calls a offside on him. The offside is the silliest concept to me. You can’t score, or be near the box, unless an opponent is also there. Which means if it was up to me, I would have to run real slow, wait for the other team to catch up, place themselves near the post and then only try for the goal. Chivalry is lost on me.

This is why I don’t watch football. Too much of a heart-attack waiting to happen.

#21 Heskey runs in, sets up the goal, kicks but it is saved by Tim Howard. Hubs is going to be bald after this. Maybe he would start looking like Rooney. Lost opportunity.

#18 Carragher gets a yellow for tripping #20 Findley. Dempsey goes down from a corner kick after Gerrard makes a kick towards the ball. Gerrard gets a bullshit yellow. Another opportunity for USA with a free kick with Donovan, but his teammate headbutts it out for him.

#8 Lampard gets a chance but it is saved by Howard. Corner kick, #2 Johnson takes it, but it’s off.

USA is attacking, but England tries to save their hide, with Green sticking to the goal post like his life depends on it and saves one (after giving one away for free).

#2 Johnson is bleeding, and the referee calls him out. England is down one man. Until his lip stops bleeding, England will have to play without him. They try to buy time for Johnson to get back into the game. He returns when England gains a free kick.  Lampard gets the free kick. It is off.

The game continues. England nears the goal. Rooney gets the ball, but US saves it. Gerrard sets up the ball for Rooney again, but it is too high for him to head butt the ball into the goal. Maybe stilts will work next time. So far, Rooney has proven to be a non-factor.

Yellow on #20 Findley, after taking Gerrard down with a kick on his ankle. Rooney shoots for the free kick, but it grazes pass the goal. Two more attempts are made on the USA goal post, but Howard saves both. Tim Howard has saved at least 4 goals for USA. They should give him a state. Maybe Louisiana.

Gerrard sets up the ball again, but Heskey doesn’t finish well. USA’s Findley is replaced with a pair of fresh legs. Another 13 more minutes till the end.

Corner kick in by Gerrard, the bleeder Johnson catches the ball but looses it over to USA. Heskey is replaced by #9 Peter Croach the ultra tall guy who may get a really high head butt in for a goal. England has 58 ball possession vs. 42 for USA. This should have been a no brainer. But then again, there was an idiot in the group.

#17 Altidore is replaced by #11 Holden – to shave some time off the clock with only 4 more minutes into the game. What the hell are they doing?! Play already and stop wasting time! The English fans are numb and in shock. I can’t watch anymore. No eye see. I think Beckham is going to keel over now. Victoria will have to care for their sons alone. Not that she is incapable of doing it alone.

This is why I don’t watch this game.

An additional 4 more minutes are tacked on and USA has the ball. England has to attack. Come on! I only want to see WHITES. Fight-o ON! Not…

What a load of crap Green!  It is a draw.

All around the world, the gamblers of the world are calling their hit men on Green. If I were Green, I would dig a hole, crawl in and never show my face until the end of time.

This will be my first and last. I can’t watch this anymore.

Sore loosers are like that. But Dempsey really shouldn’t gloat. it wasn’t because he was good. It was because the other guy didn’t have fingers.

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