Hero 英雄 2: Crane vs. Plow

After the last try at exercising, (see Hero 英雄 ) which took me 4 days to recover, I decided to take it easy and do yoga instead.

That was my first mistake.

My second mistake was not lubing up. I should have just drank a gallon of olive oil.

My body twisted, stretched, bent and flexed in so many positions that I don’t remember how I straighten out after that. I felt like an overnight pretzel, and a cardboard contortionists forced to perform.

It started out easy. I was patting myself on the back and feeling rather smug about my limberness. It was the bend, plank, transitioning into the cobra, to downward dog, to the runner’s pose, followed by lunges and the warrior I, II, III poses. So far so good.

Then we went into balance: tree pose, chair pose, the triangle pose and the half moon pose. Hey, I’ve got superb balance on my right side, but my left ankle wanted nothing to do with supporting 115 lbs of me. At the risk of sounding like Cartman from South Park, “I’m not fat! Just big boned!” So I wobbled and shook, but still held on or, in my case, cheated. Wii is nothing compared to this.

Next, I was on my back. Anything with me lying on my back will be a breeze. Or so I thought.

Plow pose

Plow pose

Right off the bat, we went into the plow pose. This is one where the entire lower half of your body is lifted off the floor and ends up on the other side of your head (as I find out later). I got my behind up, and with my legs dangling precariously over my face, I tried to understand what the instructor was saying while making sure I didn’t break my neck. I couldn’t see a thing on the TV, as my legs were in the way. Spreading eagle, I tried to peek through my legs to see what they were doing. Nothing. I have fat thighs. Since I had one minute to kill on the pose, and I had no clue what they were doing, I started improvising. I did the peek-a-boo, bicycle and the scissors while hanging out in that position. I’m just thankful that my neck is still intact.

That was followed by an easier, table pose, bridge pose and wheel pose.

Then came the animals: frog, sphinx, one-legged king pigeon and the upward dog. When they started showing the crane pose, I thought they were crazy. The crane that I know requires standing on at least one leg and flapping the hands like make-believe wings. This crane, requires you to support your entire body on just two hands, while the knees rested on the armpits. I don’t know what crane they were mimicking. Most likely an unhatched crane.  Needless to say, I never made that pose, otherwise I would have been a wingless crane.

Crane Pose

Crane Pose

Off to core work, with the half and full boat poses, repeated until my entire body screamed in pain. Even my ass was hurting. Of course, my abs was crying the loudest.

One hour 20 minutes later, we were doing the final stretches: cat, happy baby pose, child pose, and the lotus pose. When he called for the corpse pose I couldn’t help but smile at the irony of the name.

But then again, I couldn’t smile.

My pants were torn.

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Hero 英雄

The dictionary’s definition of a “Hero” is a person who is admired or idealized for courage, or noble qualities. But used by a Chinese person, “Hero” or 英雄 ying xiong stops becoming a compliment. It is used on a person trying to prove he/she has noble-r qualities than others, but ends up looking like an idiot or paying for it. Take for example a person who walks out in the dead of winter with just a wife-beater-tank top on. That is a hero. When used, it sounds a little like this, “Damn hero!” sarcastically. Or, “Look, hero!”

In any case, I became a hero this weekend.
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The Next Best Thing

Instead of Niagara Falls in New York, eight hours away from Jersey, we went to the Paterson Great Falls State Park in Jersey, just a mere 30 minutes away. The view wasn’t as spectacular, but I still got the spray of mist from the falls and the fear of heights came rushing back too. I did see a few people making out in the small park in front of children too, mind you. Joisey. It’s gone to the trash of Jersey Shore.
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Photosynthesizing

I’m going to vegetate for the next few days – living off nothing but on the graces of God – fresh air, sunshine and water.

With that in mind, I tried to stuff my face the weekend before, unsuccessfully. Dim Sum on Saturday was a let down, maybe because we didn’t have trays upon trays of dumplings on our table. Pizza for dinner was a slap in the face. We ordered WHITE pizza, but burnt cheddar cheese showed up at our door. We had Chinese take out for the last supper, but everything from the ginger chicken to the walnut chicken were either too salty or too sour. The only saving grace was lunch on Sunday of leftover noodles mixed with Japanese curry that I made earlier during the week. The mango/vanilla sorbet after dinner wasn’t too shabby either.

As I sit here, thinking about the food that I had, and am not having, suddenly, the weekend fare doesn’t sound so bad after all. Now you wonder, why I insist on going through this torture? I am not masochistic. Neither am I that vain. It’s my health.

I have Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA), and since the medical world do not know the cause and cure for it, I have to rely on the one fact that I know is true. Food hurts. The food in the market today has been biologically altered so much, that it no longer resembles what it used to be. Because of this, the human body reacts very differently to it and in turn, new diseases / pain and aches occur. Different foods cause different reaction for different people. By going for a quarterly all-out cleansing, I can begin anew and reprogram my body. My detox doesn’t seem as painful when I realize the painlessness I am gaining in return for a few days of not eating.

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE eating. I eat when I’m stressed. I eat when I’m relaxed. I eat when I’m happy. I eat (a little) when I’m sad. I eat when I’m watching TV (I LOVE watching TV, as much as I love to eat). And according to hubs, he thinks that, I eat when I’m in bed too.

Not eating, then, is a big deal. But, when you have been where I have been, you never want to be back. Not with that kind of pain. Pain that is so unbearable, it makes you feel useless. Pain that is so unbearable, it makes you feel defeated. Pain that is so unbearable, it makes the day go on forever. Pain that is so unbearable, it makes even crawling in bed no respite.

So, as the day comes to an end with my stomach quietly rumbling, I feel my prize is within my grasp.

Days before the detox, my skin started drying up and itching. I have only just realized that I must have a bout with eczema. As I press on to day three of my cleansing, I skin has slowly been revitalized. The peeling, itching and redness has lessened considerably.

As they say, no pain no gain. In this case, I’m cleaning out the system to end the pain. Vegetating can be good.

TNF Blocker Posts Cancer Risk

Aug. 4, 2009 – As reported by Market News & Forbes

Anti-TNF (Tumor Necrosis Factor) drug used to treat autoimmune diseases like rheumatoid arthritis and Crohn’s disease will soon be labeled with the “black box” warning. The FDA (Food and Drug Administration) says the drugs increase the risk of cancer in children and adolescents if taken more than 30 months. (Nothing is mention of the side effects these drugs have on adults) The drugs in question include J&J’s Remicade & Simponi, Abbott Lab’s Humira and Amgen & Wyeth’s Enbrel.

While rheumatoid arthritis patients may already be at greater risk for the white blood cell cancer, “there is a possible association between treatment with TNF blockers and the development of leukemia in all patients treated with these drugs,” the FDA said.

Fresh air and sunshine

Water

July 27, 2009 : Day 1

Have been eating and mentally preparing myself the entire weekend for the start of my no food week. Saturday – had Japanese buffet.  Hardly stuffed our faces, but we had a tummyache after that.  Went to K-town in Pal Park right after that and got MORE food (for dinner and for hubs who will have nothing to eat for the rest of the week).  Sunday – had noodles for lunch and then korean food for dinner.  Nothing crazy.  But was definitely force-fed some really gross watermelon ice cream, because I bought it and it’s taking up space in the freezer.  😦

My quarterly detox is on.  Got my honey.  Got my water.  I’m all set!  Yoshi!  I’m going to turn on my photosynthesis mode starting right…now.  Fresh air and sunshine here I come!

July 30, 2009: Day 4

Yeah, I just skipped writing for two days.  It’s fine.  Nothing happened.  Still living on air.

Had a horrible day.  I’m just going to sit in my corner and sulk.  Don’t like being stressed out and not being able to take it out on food.

July 31, 2009: Day 5

Survived 5 days without food.  Still standing.  Still thinking straight.  Just don’t mess with me right now.  Very unstable.  I’m going to start thinking about food…for next week.  Well, not really food food.  But fruits, smoothie and juices.  YUM! And yes, I’m a masochist.

Juice. Smoothie. Fruits

Aug. 3, 2009 : Day – ?? – I lost count

Injecting a dose of Apple, Carrot & Celery this bright and early Monday morning. お早うございます皆さん!大家早安! G’Morning!